America’s Election 2016—the Presidential Candidates & the Starship Captains

Politics… The Fantastical Frontier… These Are The Voyages Of Election 2016. Its Seemingly Never Ending Mission… To Explore Strange New Candidates… To Seek Out New Gaffes And New Attack Ads… To Boldly Go Where Nobody Politically Viable Nominee Has Gone Before…

50 Years Of Star Trek wonder is now fully engaged as the venerable pop culture sci-fi fest warps joyfully into celebration. Those stars must really be properly aligned because another celebrated event collides with it for a smash up of epic proportions. Trek’s 50 orbits in the same space-time with the most out of this world American election in this galaxy or any other.

Fascinating.

Starship Captains and presidential candidates operating in the same reality? Is it an alternate timeline where stable, if free spirited Captain Kirk, morphs into a raging psychopath, while his eternally stoic Vulcan first officer needs mustache wax for a Van Dyke? It’s simply the American presidential election 2016 masquerading as one of Trek’s more fantastical tales.

TV and pop culture history has been made at the half century mark this year. The original Trek bowed in 1966 and gave way to blockbuster feature films, next generation spin-off shows, and a host of novels, comic books, and video games. Gene Roddenberry’s "Wagon Train To The Stars" has lived long and prospered for five decades, and the half century mark cosmically coincides with a truly out of this world election year. Whether you’re in camp Hillary, still feeling the Bern, or wanting America to be great again, there’s a Starfleet Captain to call your very own.

Donald J. Trump is Captain James T. Kirk

He’s The Donald. He’s Trump. He’s DJT. There’s nobody else quite like him—aren’t you happy? Donald J. Trump can be called many things and has been. In turn, he’s fired so many photon torpedo barbs, from here to the Romulan Neutral Zone, even he’s running out of insults. Admittedly, he’s a HUGE figure among the GOP, which is only now realizing he’s the REAL art of the DEAL.

Captain Kirk boasts a similar blustery, take charge gusto. He’s yappy (bombastic?) and is caught on many occasion talking down—or talking down to—more than a few dastardly aliens. William Shatner’s Kirk could never be accused of having such signature hair, but the actor’s had more than a few brushes with his real life hair raising shenanigans.

Perhaps the most interesting connection between the fictional and nonfictional characters is that Shatner’s a confirmed and real Canadian—wait a minute, recharge that Dilithium Crystal! Is it merely a nationality formality? Cap'n Kirk not an original, born and bred in the good ole USA, American? Deal with it! Arguably, it’s something Donald Trump’s buddy and former GOP opponent, Ted Cruz, would sooner like to forget. Mind meld anyone?

Defining Trek Moment: "A Piece of the Action" Fun romp where Kirk gets to play act as a New York style gangster full of big bluster and juvenile insults—remind you of anyone?

Bernie Sanders is Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Let’s see what’s out there.

Senator Bernie Sanders hails from Vermont, and comes across as homespun, even folksy (Brooklyn born folksy maybe), but as those who’ve attended his passionate, packed events can testify, there’s a dynamic leader behind the socialist minded guy.

Captain Picard’s tagline isn't as iconic as "Beam me up, Scotty," but his enormous Galaxy class Enterprise is way bigger, so size has privilege. The simple fact is Picard’s Next Gen timeline fairly oozed a kind of futuristic, socialist vibe where Senator Sanders would fit in perfectly.

Physically, Sanders and Picard (Patrick Stewart) transmit a paternal, grandfatherly aura to assure of veteran level experience. The two also share the kind of bass baritone Picard used to cow enemies into submission—"I will make them pay for what they did to me"—yet gently used to succeed in encouraging shipmates to be their ultimate Starfleet best. Feel the Bern to Make It So!

Defining Trek Moment:Star Trek: First Contact—“No money? You don’t get paid?” Lily (Alfre Woodard) asks Picard as they navigate his Borg infested ship. He replies, "The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force of our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity."

Hillary Clinton is Captain Kathryn Janeway

While still a young girl, imagining how the world could change, Hillary Clinton dreamed about becoming an astronaut, but never fulfilled her star trekking dream. She wrote to NASA, but they told her, “Thank you, but we’re not taking girls.” No worries. Hillary focused her energies elsewhere. She ultimately became a respected attorney, First Lady for two terms, New York Senator, Secretary of State, and ran for the US presidency twice. All in all, that's not a bad list of consolation prizes.

As a prudent leader, a surrogate mother figure to the less experienced crew members, and role model for her Starship family, Captain Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) was known for the kind of leadership Hillary Clinton has demonstrated and aspires to as a presidential nominee.

Both Secretary Clinton and Captain Janeway are formidable leaders, yet where the fictional starship captain has a knack for science and technology, Hillary admits to her lack of tech prowess—you know, that whole "wiping the server clean" thing. If Hillary does assume the American presidency, she’ll be like her fictional Captain counterpart, since actress Kate Mulgrew was the first woman to take on a permanent role as a lead of a Trek show. These days, Mulgrew plays Red, the Russian American cook con on the hit Netflix show, Orange Is The New Black.

Defining Trek Moment: “11:59” A fifth season episode of Star Trek: Voyager tells the tale of Shannon O’Donnell, a Janeway ancestor, who despite family lore, never became a NASA astronaut she was thought to have been.

A Supporting Starfleet Crew In Waiting

Mike Pence is Dr. McCoy

By golly, Jim, I’m beginning to think I could cure a rainy day!

Governor Mike Pence of Indiana is the GOP Vice Presidential Nominee, and while he’s not well known nationally, as he campaigns with Trump, he’s destined to become a household name. Medicine man? He may not be a physician in real life, but he’s got a steady, calm personality and demeanor which would make the cut. Much like Bones, Pence stands firmly behind his take charge Captain.

Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy couldn’t really fix a rainy day, but boasted about doing so after literally becoming a brain surgeon in perhaps the wackiest TOS tale, "Spock’s Brain." In 2015, Pence expanded Medicaid in Indiana—in agreement with the Affordable Care Act—something Bones would undoubtedly cheerfully champion.

Tim Kaine is Scotty

Aye, Capn! Engines online!

Virginia Senator Tim Kaine is a more than dependable defender of Hillary Clinton, as the two campaign for the White House across the nation on the Democratic ticket. You could say he’s a Chief Engineer or maintainer of good will and structural engineering his running mate’s race. Hillary steers and captains the ship, while Kaine makes sure it runs smoothly.

Kaine, like Enterprise’s Chief Engineer, deals in hard science. He’s already made it clear he’s behind the science of climate change. He blasted those who deny the phenomenon—the so called climate change deniers—in a 2014 speech, “To science deniers, I am happy to say Virginians are pro-science. We are pro-science. Now, the quintessential Virginian, Thomas Jefferson, was the preeminent scientist of his day. You cannot be a proud Virginian and be anti-science."

Those Wacky Recurring Characters

DJ Trump’s Hair

No matter if you think The Donald’s hair is fake, real, or a mutant combination of both, Trump’s hair bears more than a vague resemblance to a Tribble. Only he knows for sure if it feeds on grain and is born pregnant. Will it multiply non-stop? Overrun by Trump Fuzz? A new cash crop? The surreal possibilities boggle our collective mind. Speaking of collectives; If The Borg assimilated Trump’s hair, would they cough up a furball?

CNN, FOX, MSNBC & All The Rest

All the world’s a stage.

If political candidates are performers—who’s doing the orchestrating of the show? CNN, FOX, MSNBC, and broadcast networks CBS, NBC, and ABC, are the media outlets conducting the debates. They can shape our reality of the state of the nation. News stars like Megyn Kelly, Chris Cuomo, Anderson Cooper, and Chris Wallace may argue they merely report the news, but aren’t they often part of the bigger story as well?

Trump and FNC journalist Megyn Kelly, after a long running and nasty public spat, buried the media hatchet and sat down for a civilized—and highly rated—on air chat. Latino anchor of Univision, Jorge Ramos, butted heads with The Donald, then sat alongside him in the headlines. For years, Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart reigned as one of the most influential voices of political commentary. Recently, his colleague and mock pundit and journo, Stephen Colbert of CBS, said he was "taking the gloves off," as he savagely criticized Hillary Clinton for being dishonest.

Who watches the watchers? Who reports on the reporters?

Do modern broadcasters just analyze or also add to the political equation? These highly visible media entities can act as puppet master aliens—like Q and Trelane—pitting forces against one another. Are they ringmasters of the political sideshow, as they cultivate the highly rated, confrontational debates? Whatever the case, it’s a safe bet to speculate election 2016 won't be surpassed as the most memorable political carnival for a long time to come, in a galaxy far, far away. Live Long, Prosper & Vote! Use The Political Force!