I believed that everything was certain and organized, and that we were destined. I came to find out that I only believed these things because I limited my mind through experience. I found a new view to life, a new meaning, a new purpose. The time of realization hit me when I was falling endlessly with no bottom to reach—when my only choice was to believe; everything stripped from me so easily and calmly. There was no justice or hope for them when they were taken. I knew no one would believe. The funny thing about it all was that I wanted to just exist in my world without justification or opinion from anyone else—just me, because I knew that my story was unable to be fully understood because there was no proof. My mother was only forty-nine and my sister twenty-three. They molded me to become strong and determined as if they knew I’d be fighting for their justice.
It’s Monday morning and as I know it, my girlfriend Jane calls me.
“Hey! I just got off the phone with Makayla. I’m leaving to Maine tomorrow!” Her voice fades out and I’m in my head just thinking,
I knew I shouldn’t have answered…
“Oh hey, that’s great news! How are you getting there?" I asked, then I thought about the constant doubt I had for our relationship, and in exasperation I asked, "Can you actually give me a few? I’ll call you back. I need to get dressed for work.” I knew right away my morning was going to be slightly frustrating after cutting her off.
She angrily replied, “Are you kidding? I’m leaving tomorrow. I thought we were going to see each other?"
Everything became silent. For once, I decided to run away from my problems and I hung up the phone. I got up and walked over to my window and stared out with my thoughts playing out instead of the actual view. I felt lost without the people who understood me the most, and thinking of it now, I only dated Jane because of me feeling “lost,” and I was broken and I needed comfort. She was there to give me it and I accepted it. Sadly, it was all just sex. Convenience sometimes got the best of me; I never went looking for much. It always came…looking for me.
I decided to go for a jog. I thought maybe it could help me refresh my head. I mean “mentally running” wasn’t going to help for much longer. I put my clothes on and stretched.
The door is kicked open wide. I was standing in my bathroom, startled. I walked over to my living room and moved slowly towards the door. Standing there were six men in black suits, armed.
“We ask you to come with us. Please remain silent…or consequences will be faced.”
I walked up slowly to the men and obeyed their commands, questioning what was going on. One man grabbed my arm while another man with no face came toward me. I became uneasy. I felt him...as if he were emitting some sort of searing heat. My body started to sweat and as I knew it, my skin began bubbling. I screamed in excruciating pain. The man holding my arm let go, and all of a sudden the heat and burning came to an end. I tried to stay focused, but my vision was becoming blurred. I dropped to the floor.
I heard footsteps approaching me. One of the men kneeled down and said “this isn’t going to hurt as much.” From there on, I had lost all consciousness.
Oddly, I still was awake—but not out there...within myself. I began freaking out and thought, What have they done to me? It felt like time had stopped and I was trapped in this dark place, except it felt like my head was only floating. I couldn’t feel my body. It made me fear for my life. As I became frightened and panicked more and more, I felt like I was falling into an abyss, unable to grasp onto anything. In a matter of seconds, I started to hear. The voices were low. I was unable to make out the words that they were saying. I heard a woman and she was right next to me. I felt a slight pinch on the side of my neck. I opened my eyes and gasped for air as if I was suffocating. A man yelled, “Bring him to room E3.” The lady that was near me started to push the bed I was on. As I looked at my body, I was hooked up to a whole bunch of IVs.
“Excuse me, what is all of this?” I asked. She looked at me with a sad face and smiled after saying “whoops, you were supposed to remain silent.” She opened the door to room E3 and shoved my bed inside, slamming the doors shut as she walked out. I started to pull off the IVs, and as I removed the three needles in my left arm, my arm started to turn blue.
It was hard for me to understand what was happening at the moment, but I tried to stay calm and clear-minded. I removed all the other needles and got up, my body felt weaker than ever but I managed to stay stable enough. I grabbed the door handles and pulled, “WHAM!” the doors flung open and one door broke off the hinges. The door must have been old close to breaking anyway, I thought. I felt like I was some kind of superhuman or something. I stood there in awe for a few seconds before bolting away. As I made my way up to the roof of this building, since I didn’t know my way out, I decided to go down a fire escape ladder from the side. As I reached the ladder, I slowly went down. My heart was pounding heavily. I was in fear of being caught again. I finally reached my way down and ran towards these eerie looking woods, this building was basically in the middle of nowhere. As I ran through the woods, something felt strange. I stayed aware and alert of my surroundings, but somehow it felt familiar. As I cleared the tree branches and leaves from in front of me, I asked myself, “what was going on…?” I saw my house in front of me. No explanation could fit this situation. I walked towards my home and stood there. Was this just a figment? I thought. It just couldn’t be, it was way too close...
"What now?” I whispered to myself. I reached to the door and turned the knob, moving my right foot in as the door widened. Everything seemed normal. I walked to my bedroom and sat on my bed, slowly leaning back until I was staring at the ceiling. I felt somewhat okay. It was the only part of the house where I gained my peace. I laid there for about five minutes. Soon after my body jolted quickly into getting up, something was feeling wrong. It was like I was being timed and then controlled to follow a schedule, my body was disobeying me. I became clustered in my head with thoughts and ended up running out of the house deeper and deeper into the woods. As I ran, my surroundings became distorted and warped. I wanted to stop but I thought I was already too far in for that. My vision started to lag like a game. It started to freak me out. I wanted it to stop already!
“Why was this happening to me…?!” I yelled out as if someone would hear.
“You want it to stop… why ?” A voice spoke, as if anything would get better this time I heard her in me.
“Wh ...what?” I replied in fear, I felt pulsating in the back of my neck followed along with a few shocks. “Ah!” I grabbed the back of my neck in agonizing pain.
“If you want it to stop, what did you find late last night?”
I quickly thought. “The chip? It was a regular looking computer chip. Well sort of regular…wait ! Can she hear my thoughts?”
"Yes, I can hear everything, Winston…now tell me, where is it?”
I feared what they would do to me next, so I gave up. Why was a computer chip this important, anyway?
“It’s in the at…" before I could even finish my sentence, I appeared in my attic. Things were just getting more and more nerve-racking and odd. The chip lifted out of my hand as I grabbed it and in an instance it disappeared.
What is this all about? I thought…I went down the ladder from my attic and made my way to my bedroom and took a moment to breathe. I had pain in both of my arms and they were going back to normal color. As I looked at my hands, I realized a small cut on my thumb. The cut was small but still bleeding, so I knew it just happened. I could barely feel much, anyway. The pain from the burns and my arms masked every other signal of pain. I tried to ignore it all and just relax, but as I shut my eyes, visions that weren’t mine started to play out in my mind. My mother and sister appeared in the same place as I did room E3. They were laying down on the beds unconscious.
“Their skin was blue!….Wh...what?” The woman whose voice I heard inside of me speaking that asked for the chip was there. She was walking towards my sister and she turned her over to her side. Near her was a tray with a surgical knife. The woman touched Laura’s neck and grabbed the knife. Making a small incision, she pulled out a chip. I began to overthink and then I realized: last year my friend Michael told me, right near Green Mountain National Forest, there were going to be military experiments. It all sort of clicked. I mean everything was already sort of going “crazy,” right? He always seemed so gullible and taken in by the internet and conspiracy theories, but today the experiences I faced made me believe things I couldn’t even imagine. There was no imagining anymore. This was all happening.
I called him in hopes for answers, but he didn’t even answer. I packed my things and took all that I needed and drove to my father's house near Jay’s Mountain in Lewis, NY. As I arrived, I parked my car and walked to the front door to find that the door was left unlocked. I walked inside only to find him standing near his plant, watering it.
“Hello, father.” He laughed and turned around.
“Winston, what makes you come here so early? It’s five in the morning.”
I didn’t even realize the time, time seemed like nothing now. “I came here to talk about mom and Laura…”
He seemed like he knew it was coming. He put everything down and told me we should both take a seat for this one. He grabbed my arm and said, “They’ve gotten to you to, haven’t they ?”
I looked at him and questioned, “Dad, who exactly are 'they'... and what do 'they' want?”
He took a breath and looked down and shook his head. “ I wish I really knew, Win. These men are more than just humans. They carry a secret—one your mother knew. When your mom turned eighteen, she was abducted…we were married since she was seventeen. We grew up poor and managed to build a life together. Soon after, when we were settled here in this house, she would go out for hikes by High Peaks Mountain. She said she felt different there. She would spend most of her time going after I started to work from home. One day, she came home after seven hours. I was worried about her and I questioned. She confessed to me that she witnessed a UFO and that night she just stared out into the sky in awe. Years later, when you and your sister were teenagers, mom still visited High Peak. She believed it was a place filled with spiritual enlightenment. One day, she came back with a cut on her thumb and she said she picked up this sharp, chip-looking thing that caught her eyes at first glance. Your mother, from that day, began to experience weird things. We became distant from each other. I never wanted to, but your mother seemed so out of touch with reality and she started to influence Laura."
When I thought about it, my mother did seem somewhat out of touch…
“Dad, if Laura was taken, why not me ?”
He looked at me with a blank face and sighed, “Winston, your mother was drugged and manipulated to believe 'aliens and UFOs' were making contact with her. Laura was too young and she had a clear mind. She was forced to believe with experiments. It was a form of mind control. Your mother and Laura were taken by the government, just like every other female in this town.”
For some reason, I felt a warning that this man wasn’t my father. I ignored it and listened to what he had to say. I only did this because I was already planning in my head for the unexpected. He continued and mentioned what the experiments were.
“These experiments were a test for artificial life. They wanted regrowth of civilization in this area. Many people were becoming ill with disease and babies were given birth to already dead.”
“Yeah but dad, why? These people aren’t God, they can’t just… control life like that.”
My father stood up and made a swiping gesture. The room transformed into another room and he turned to look at me…and replied, “In this area, Winston, we are the creators of artificial life…we control it all.”
I thought, Why…didn’t family mean anything? What a coward.
My father laughed and said, “God isn’t a coward.” I kept noticing how unreal everything was getting. I basically had no family. I panicked as I thought and thought, then suddenly I felt the neck pain.
“Ow!” I moved my hand toward the pain and felt a lump under my skin. I dug my nails in deep into my skin and tugged. With everything that happened today, the pain was bearable. I felt the hard piece of material in my neck and pulled it out. As I did this, everything went back to normal in some way. I was in my bedroom staring out of the window. I caught myself, then ran to check my phone. About two to three minutes ago, I hung up the phone on Jane. When I looked at my nightstand, there was the chip. It was the answer to what was really happening. I realized I was so caught up with things that never really mattered that the day I decided to let go, it was the day I wanted to hold on to. Late night, when I found that chip that matched the one I had, I made contact with an unusual light from the sky, and it was real. I felt it…it was a UFO. I woke up the next morning and I felt lively; I wanted to go jogging. I felt new. As I put my clothes on and stretched, I walked towards my door and turned the knob. What I saw in front of me boggled my mind to extremes. My father standing there, smiling at me, walked closer and moved his hand in a swiping gesture. I ended up back in room E3. I began to scream and I felt as if I had gone mad. I slid my fingers through my hair and pulled while screaming, "Why…?”
We were just being used...we were all just following the “scripts,” realizing we never lived for ourselves. These men controlled everything… everything you could even think of; UFO’s, paranormal activity, ghosts, and monsters never amounted to the fear of my reality being someone else’s game. Living in this false, controlled reality, I realized I had no one, not even me anymore. My mind was diminishing. I was in a mental state far gone. It was just like I wanted to just exist in my world without justification or opinion from anyone else, which now was something I was definitely granted. I knew that my story was unable to be fully understood because there was no proof. I limited myself once again…because there was proof…everywhere, it’s just no one wanted to stop this because they didn’t see what I saw. I didn’t even help them see. How could I when there was no one to go to? Because the people who were supposed to protect us were now “creating us.”