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Mohammad's Sack

Mohammad receives an ancient form of punishment.

An angry sea for an angry prophet

Sand whipped up to the sky. Carried by the wind, the granules struck at the faces of the people of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware that June afternoon. Mayor Zach Xander addressed his constituency.

“Now, even though this practice has been deemed cruel and unusual punishment, this is a special case. Poena Cullei or Penalty of the Sack, had been performed mainly by the Romans centuries ago for those who killed one or both of their parents or close kin. The offender would have to deal with a monkey, a chicken, a snake, and a dog in a water tight sack. With our apprehension of the prophet Mohammad, we can bend the rules a bit, no?”

"That's right," the crowd said.

The beasts did not consist of those previously mentioned, but worker aligned with Xander’s campaign, Tigris McCurtis, Red Falton and Verne Callows brought out three pigs. Cheers rang out from the audience.

Mohammad’s face grimaced. His long beard and dull eyes spoke of death and tyranny.

Just as Mayor Xander ordered for the workers to prepare the sack to be tied, a woman with a bullhorn came running up to the proceedings.

“No, Vienna Barr said, “You must not do this. Give him a thousand more years to rot in a prison cell. But not this. What you are practicing is inhumane.”

“It seems that we have a dissenter on our hands, folks. Tell me Miss…”


“Ah, yes. Miss Barr. Could you tell me if the nine-year-old girl that Mohammad raped could choose? Or the millions caught in the crossfire or incinerated by the hellfire of bombs had a decision to opt out of their final way of dying?”

“No, but you don’t understand. Under the Eighth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America that you just mentioned, no ‘cruel or unusual punishment’ should be perpetrated against anyone, no matter how heinous his crimes may be. Now, I’m not saying that Mohammad isn’t guilty, but we should carry out justice in a much more humane way.”

“Mohammad has been a menace for over a millennium. His crimes are reprehensible. Just think, those who dared to illustrate the image of the man have been mutilated and dismembered, shot down and viciously murdered. For the power to express themselves, they saw the wrong end of a blade or muzzle. Their testimonies against him never surfaced because they didn’t have the ability to speak from the grave. Our chance to annihilate this dreadful being is nigh. This method of death is ideal to the horrors that this man has committed and the amount of carnage that has occurred in his name because some people have a knack for drawing his face. He has engendered a space of pure brutality over hundreds of years. He deserves this form of punishment. And more.”

Vienna tried to reach Mohammad. His face looked sullen and gaunt. His beard flailed in the wind. He had low cheekbones and a crooked nose. Once Vienna started to charge towards the staging area where the workers, shoved three pigs onto a giant leather bag laid flat. Vienna was prevented from advancing toward the area. Muhammad looked ashen. The workers then fitted a wolf hide bag over Mohammad’s face. His chains began to grate against his skin, scraping off flash and letting the blood hit the sand.

“We are ready to send Mohammad on his last voyage. May he be tormented and tortured just like the many people who murdered, raped, and pillaged in his name," Xander said.

The pigs squealed and scampered on the sack. With Mohammad placed directly on the leather material, the workers fitted him with wooden shoes.

The working party drew the corners of the sack together and tied the top with a leather strap and lock, securing it for Mohammad’s final journey.

Vienna cried. Xander and the other folks on the beach rejoiced. The sack was pushed from the sand to the ocean. It floated and bobbed and the activity of the beasts encased in the sack became ever evident as it remained buoyant further and further out to sea. 

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