Natal Venus Retrograde

Most of the time when I see posts about natal Venus retrograde, they say stuff like “has a hard time expressing affection, they have a lot of trouble in relationships” and while this is true, it’s certainly not the whole story.

Venus retrograde is the rarest retrograde (it only goes retrograde once about every 19 months, and it only stays retrograde for about 40 days), and only 7–8% of the population has it in their natal chart.

I am one of the 7–8%, and to be honest, I never thought very hard about my Venus retrograde. I was never very romantically inclined, and the prospect of researching a placement that promised I would die alone didn’t sound like fun. However, the other day I got this month’s issue of The Mountain Astrologer, which discussed the Venus retrograde coming that month (no it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is going to break up with you, it just means that it is time for everyone to reexamine their personal relationships and values). It also talked about natal Venus retrograde folks. And boy did the transiting sun conjuncting my natal Mercury and Neptune conjunction clear up some haze about myself.

Venus retrograde is the least likely retrograde for a person to have, and is generally not very common. This means that the Venus retrograde is a minority and that it is especially difficult for other people to relate to the Venus retrograde individual, and even more so for the Venus retrograde individual to relate to others. So Venus retrograde can and probably will create some problems in the social department for those who have it—but it’s not so much that they are “doomed to fail,” it’s more so that they understand social interactions differently. Have you ever seen a quote like this one?

"I hate small talk. I want to talk about atoms, death, aliens, magic, and the meaning of life. I don't want to know 'What's up.'"

Sure, it rings somewhat true for almost all of us, especially introverts, but this quote was practically gift wrapped for Venus retrograde. They don’t like small talk—they can’t stand meaningless social interaction. For them, social interaction is deeply connected to their inner selves, so if a conversation isn’t enlightening, it may seem like a waste of time. But don’t think that Venus retrogrades aren’t capable of small talk—I can play the game like everyone else, mostly because I consciously taught myself how to after years of silence and loneliness. But it really does feel entirely like a game, and I hate playing it. I’d far rather be alone than make small talk all day, because at least when I’m alone I can delve into my own thoughts. And get this—I’m not an introvert.

So, since most of the world doesn’t operate the way Venus retrograde natives want it to, a lot of us get pretty used to being alone, introversion or not. These people learn to be independent, because they struggle to connect with people. They can’t rely on anyone else to do things; they must do it themselves. Admittedly, though, Venus retrograde people have a tendency to swing from one extreme (”I don’t need anyone”) to another (”I’m worthless without a strong social life”). Self-esteem issues in general are common with this placement, since Venus rules value. Retrograde Venusians must look within themselves to find their worth and their happiness—a hard lesson to learn in an increasingly social world.

When getting to know a Venus retrograde, it can feel like they put up an emotional wall, don’t care about you or even despise you. What I want to emphasize here is that, while they may have accidentally put up an emotional wall (as is their nature), in all likelihood, they do care about you. Venus retrograde people have deep capacity for love, but it’s not expressed externally for the most part. Some, while trying, will be the type to buy lots of gifts for their partners—that Venusian “materialism” kicking in, making them feel like they can fill the emotional void with physical objects. But when it comes to other forms of affectionate expression, it’s not that we don’t feel anything, it’s that it doesn’t occur to us to do anything, or that it doesn’t seem right to do anything. I used to worry that I was some sort of sociopath because I hated physical affection, and I never consciously missed anyone. I didn’t like to tell people I loved them. It didn’t occur to me to compliment them or ensure that they were emotionally well. All that being said, I deeply care about a small group of people and vaguely care about many more. I just don’t express it outwardly very often. I take it as a given that they know that I care about them. I spend time with certain people, and to me, that’s saying I care about them. But not everyone feels that way, so there's a constant miscommunication.

And it seems and sounds a bit like I’m being a jerk, and that I don’t care about their feelings. But I do; I just don’t usually say so. I’m actually very empathic. Go figure. And, being humans, Venus retrograde people often actively long for social connections, but we struggle to attain it.

If you believe in reincarnation, retrogrades are said to represent struggles in previous lives. Venus retrograde is often said to represent being extremely emotionally wounded in a close personal relationship in a past life. As a result their “emotional reserves” are drained, which could explain this type of behavior.

Jeff Green, a noted astrologer, describes the natal Venus retrograde as a Taurean expression of Venus as opposed to a Libran expression. Venus rules both Taurus and Libra, but when Venus is retrograde in the natal chart a person adopts a more Taurean approach to Venusian subjects—regardless of the sign Venus is actually in. Though they are both about so much more, Libra can be simplified as being about relationships, while Taurus is about personal needs and comfort, including self-esteem. Thus, the Venus retrograde is less concerned with other people and more concerned with themselves—how they view themselves, fulfilling their needs, etc. At some point, though, Venus will turn direct in the progressed chart, and this will signify a shift to a more Libran expression of Venus.

————–

Lastly, I want to talk about the two different expressions of Venus (retrograde or not):

Lucifer and Hesperus, otherwise known as “morning star” and “evening star.”

You can find out which kind you have simply by looking at your birth chart, or even just by knowing the signs in which your Sun and Venus are located. If your Venus is in a sign before your Sun (in other words, in a clockwise direction on your chart from your sun) then it is a morning star.

If your Venus is in a sign after your Sun, or if it is counter-clockwise from your sun in your chart, then it is an evening star.

These are like a figurative subset of direct and retrograde. Morning star indicates that the individual emotes more easily, and are more likely to put themselves out their in terms of relationships. However, if the individual experiences severe pain or trauma of the Venusian sort early on in their life, this slightly more positive expression will quickly be shut down and the individual will be closed to opportunities.

Evening star is the retrograde version of this subset. A person with this placement will emote more deeply and intensely, and will have a lot of difficulty recovering from emotional pain. They live very internally, and must slowly wade through their feelings by themselves. (man that sounds depressing. It’s not meant to be. The point is you’d rather be alone and sort through things yourself, you’re not actually alone, though you may feel like it).

The main difference between these two is that morning stars will continually try to engage their Venus; they see the best in people and the world, while evening stars would rather be left alone, and would never compromise their values for the sake of other Venusian goals.

————–

So to all my fellow retrograde Venusians, don't lose hope! Just because you express yourself differently doesn't mean you don't have anything to express.