Shadow Life

This was a horrible way to approach the topic of relinquishing my rights to my privacy, or so I thought. What had happened was the wall between me and another state of being had started to be crumbled and someone from the other side was digging through it trying to get some attention. The first real encounter outside of thinking I'm crazy and hallucinating voices came in a surprising way for me.

I had been napping in the bed of one of my sibling's children at my sister's house because of the upset nature I had been experiencing with my ability to sleep. I hadn't really been sleeping, and somebody seemed to always be watching me. Call it paranoia but this particular day I actually managed a few seconds long nap and had an awful dream. Something about a redheaded man impregnating my at-the-time-fiancé and smiling gloatingly at me about it as he held the baby before it woke me up. My eyes cracked open swiftly to peek about the room and locked straight onto a woman crouched down, arms around her knees, and staring directly at me as I slept. My eyes opened as wide as they could in shock. I definitely hadn't been expecting anybody to be there because my sister had told all the kids to stay out of the room while I slept.

The woman was a little shorter than what I would consider average height and had long flowing waves of darker brown and amber highlighted hair that was streaked with a caramel like color and shone vividly where the light touched. Her complexion was fantastic, skin perfect, features set solidly in outstandingly beautiful fashion, and her demeanor seemed highly un-hostile to me in the second or so that I was with her. She was, however, only there long enough for me to appreciate the vivid red colors on her sundress and its flowered patterns before my eyes met with her lips, she flashed me a smile, and proceeded to disappear into thin air. I panicked.

Running into the living room I begged my sister to tell me who the girl was that had just been in my room. I huffed about the warmth of the feelings I received when she had smiled and the cold cruelty of her disappearing gushingly at my family for a few moments before I agreed to settle on the fact that she had literally been some kind of apparition or supernatural being. I mean could this really have been Athena or Hera or Aphrodite I had seen? She did seem to appear the way the gods appeared in the Greek myths. My head to this day remains hung up on the matter.

Not that the incident alone wasn't vividly enough painted into my memories but sometime after that I began hearing a woman's voice on occasions. Sometimes she would say my name... other's just sounded like out of context clips from a conversation she was having with someone. She began talking to me about things in life that she didn't approve of. Saying things like, "Stop smoking satan's cigarettes!" were said and she highly disapproved of it by the tones in her voice. She said my name a lot too. To this day I have never really answered her back when I hear her calling. I have this complex in my head that if I do it will lead me to some horrible or wonderful places but can't get over the doubt that any good will come of it enough to even try to speak back.