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Sometimes I look around at intensely intricate Pinterest parties that other people apparently have the time to create for their children, and the mind boggles at the lengths to which theme-ing these parties goes. Sometimes, parents put out totally normal food, but give it a cutesy name to make it match. Example: a Star Wars party with skewers of grapes next to a little homemade sign reading “LIGHTSABERS.” This “treat” would be mildly disappointing to me, but apparently not everyone is such a snob. Adam Driver, for example (aka Kylo Ren), once said that during filming of The Force Awakens, “Every day I would show up to craft services hoping there’d be some space-themed food, but there never was. Which is a shame, because I think that would’ve really boosted morale. Like, if you’re serving meatballs, just call them meat asteroids. Or, if you’re serving grapes, call them fruit asteroids. It’s not that hard.” Yes it is Adam! Yes it is! If you want results you’ve got to put in the effort! (What am I, a coach for geek food? Ok, probably.) If that wouldn’t satisfy you either, check out these amazing sci-fi treats and sweets based on Star Wars, Firefly, Star Trek, Dr. Who, and Stargate. None of them, fortunately, are “meat asteroids” (what was he THINKING?).
Tauntaun Cookies with Candy Innards
One of the greatest boons of living in the present age is that people on the internet make astonishingly creative things, and then we get to take their ideas and look like freakish geniuses when we are really just stealing. These Tauntaun Cookies with Candy Organs are just such an astonishingly creative thing. Imagine the possibilities. You could stage this one of two ways: either you can keep the cookies intact until an unsuspecting friend breaks one open, gummy worms and mini candies spilling everywhere like space lizard intestines, or you can stage one as pictured with Han ingeniously slicing one open for Luke to snuggle up inside. Either way it’s a win. Although these are seriously elaborate looking, they don’t require you to have any mad skills - there’s a tauntaun template available at the link, so you can just tint your cookie dough, cut out, bake, fill, frost the layers together, and decorate with black and brown icing (no need to make your own, just get the pre-made tubes). Thank you, creative people of the internet, for making us look so good.
Shindig Ruffle Cake
If you love Kaylee or know someone who does, making this Shindig Ruffle Cake needs to go on your bucket list...now. Let us blow our minds with all of the many ways that Sprinkle Bakes made this the fan dessert to end all fan desserts. First, it closely resembles the famous “layer cake” dress that Kaylee wears in the “Shindig” episode (Mal’s words, not mine, but I think we can all agree that’s exactly what it looks like). Second, the dense, rich cake is strawberry flavored with both preserves and flavoring oil, because Kaylee loves strawberries so much she would probably marry them (at least if it weren’t for Simon). Third, there’s a gold button on top, because, well, “shiny.” Though it would definitely take some doing to actually make, the creator offers detailed instructions and photos with lots of tips on how to make your very own Firefly-inspired dress-cake.
The Whovians in your life are going to go crazy for these TARDIS Cupcakes. Not only do you get to eat a cute adorable tiny little TARDIS (made of modeling chocolate) with every cupcake, but you also get to make your way through decadent layers of swiss meringue buttercream sprinkled with silver nonpareils and brownie cupcake with ferrero rocher inside. WHAT. It’s like an adventure through time and space that never ends! Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I bet that paired with a Dr. Who marathon, you could truly have an out-of-this-world experience. (No detailed instructions included with this one, but feel free to mix and match recipes and techniques to create your own.)
Sarlacc Bundt Cake
I just keep looking back at this photo and bursting out laughing because the “Sarlacc” in the middle of this amazing Sarlacc Bundt Cake looks so pathetic writhing around helplessly (feel free to add mini figurines of Bobba Fett and Jabba's guards if you can find some!). If you have NO idea what this is, first, the Star Wars fans in your life have some ‘splainin to do, because Return of the Jedi is CANON, and you’re much too old not to have seen it yet. However, I will mercifully explain that the Sarlacc is a hungry, plant-like creature that slowly digests its food while it is still alive (and its food may sometimes be a bounty hunter with a score to settle). While I guess that kind of seems like a disgusting theme for a cake, you should all know that this is what I want for my birthday next year, because: buttery caramel flavored moist bundt cake, homemade salted caramel sauce, Biscoff Cookie Crumbles, AND AND AND two Biscoff madeleines with salted caramel buttercream teeth for the aforementioned Sarlacc. (Note to trolls: Yummy Crumble is awesome enough to point out and discuss that she has included teeth on her Sarlacc cake because she LIKES frosting teeth and not because she approves of the CGI additions to the original film. Thank you and goodnight.)
Star Trek Cookies
Would you have a hard time eating these? I know I would! Can you just...I don’t know...frame cookies and hang them on your wall? Believe it or not, the details on these Star Trek Cookies from Sweet Sugar Belle are just icing (ok, and a little edible glitter on the insignia cookies), so you totally can chow down when temptation gets the better of you. If you’re feeling ambitious, detailed instructions, suggestions, and variations are included at the link, so you can pull off the holiday cookie plates of the century this year. You won’t have to get special Star Trek cookie cutters, and you should be able to get all the ingredients you need from the grocery store and maybe Amazon (ok, except for steady hands and a keen eye). I love them all, but Uhura is my favorite. She even has EARRINGS. That is some serious attention to detail.
I found this Stargate Cake on imgur and my favorite thing about it (besides its obvious awesomeness) is that it received some major fan love. Just listen to all these comments:
“Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside doesn't mean I don't like to eat cake.”
“I sincerely hope this was in the oven for 38 minutes.”
“You can actually see the fluctuations in the event horizon.”
“Ready for embarkation to my stomach.”
“Can I get a piece with some kawoosh?”
“Taste the portal.”
The cake maker didn’t include instructions, but it’s mostly about mastery of the frosting; for those of you who already have the skills, this should be a piece of either an incoming or an outgoing wormhole.
Gingerbread Wookiee Cookies
Remember what I said earlier about the holiday cookie plate of the century? Yeah, well, it’s not going to be complete without some of these Gingerbread Wookiee Cookies. Not only does their name have an amusing rhyme in it (Fezzik and I would be great friends) but they’re simple and delicious. Sugared Nerd just used a fork to add “fur” to normal gingerbread men before baking, then melted chocolate to pipe on Chewie’s bandolier, eyes, and nose and whisked up a little powdered sugar icing for his mouth and bandolier details. Then you eat! And may the fork be with you...always.