The Truth About Astrological Compatibility

It was recently brought to my attention that a dating app, Bumble, has added an option to filter potential matches by zodiac sign. My first reaction was to laugh. No more Capricorns for me, I thought, giggling.

But the more seriously I began to think about it, the less funny it became. Imagine if the people I dated were just as into astrology as I am, I wondered. Would they still like me if they knew I was a Libra?

As astrology becomes more and more popular, the more dumbed down it becomes. I feel the people who take astrology most seriously are the ones who know the least about it.

In reality, we have a full natal chart. We are not just our Sun signs. We also have a Moon sign and a Rising sign. In fact, it goes deeper than that. In reality, no two natal charts are the same.

But that doesn't stop employers from firing you based on what month you're born. It doesn't stop potential roommates from excluding your housing applications. Things like this make me wonder if I am living in an alternate reality.

I think of the friend I once had who refused to date anyone who was a Scorpio. Then, she went on a date with a Sagittarius, and when it didn't go so well, she swore off them too. Neither did it work out with the Virgo she dated, nor did it work out with the Aquarius. It got to the point where she refused to go out on a date with any zodiac sign—not even her own sign, Leo. I wonder how she's doing now.

Just for the record, this is coming from someone who generally finds herself compatible with the signs she's traditionally said to be compatible with. Looking back on my life's history from before I got into astrology, I can see that I mostly seem to jive well with other air signs, as we share a love for ideas and communication. It really does seem like every time I form a crush on someone, I find out they were born in June, but that doesn't mean that, if I find myself drawn to a Capricorn who also shares my love for ideas and communication, that I'm going to dump them once I learn they were born in January. To me, that's a very limited perspective. Likewise, though a lot of my best friends throughout the years have been Aries and Aquarius, and I am also happy to say that my friends include just as many Cancers and Virgos.

If you really want to know your compatibility with someone, most astrologers would suggest creating a synastry chart. A synastry chart is when you overlay your natal chart with another's, and look at the aspects between each of your planets. There are also composite charts, which are drawn by calculating the midpoints between each of your planets. While the synastry shows how you relate to one another, the composite tells you about the relationship on it's own. But even then, it is my belief that a synastry chart will not tell you whether or not a relationship is "bad" or "good." Instead, it will show you the relationship's strengths as well as any potential challenges that arise. Whether a relationship is bad or good, is something you decide. Is the relationship worth working through these challenges, or would we rather be stuck in our ways, running away from any potential conflict that could happen in theory, until we're effectively isolating ourselves?

The truth is any sign can be compatible with any sign, and zodiac signs alone will not tell you whether or not you'll get along with someone. You may have the most "perfect" compatibility with someone on paper, but once you find out they have different politics than you, they're thrown out the window. Because these things aren't determined by astrology. They're determined by life experience.

Astrology can help you understand what you are looking for in a relationship. Your Venus and Mars signs show your potential approach to love and sex, while your Descendant/seventh house tells you what type of partner you are looking for. For example, with Sagittarius as my seventh house, I desire a freedom-loving adventurous type of person, while someone with a Scorpio seventh house might prefer intense, all-or-nothing types. But that doesn't mean my partner has to be a Sagittarius. They can be any sign—they can be Scorpios, so long as they have these qualities.

A natal chart is a blueprint, but in reality, we choose our own destiny. We may be born with certain innate drives and energies, but how we use it, what we do with it, is up to us.

And if you like someone, you like them, regardless of when their birthday is. I don't know about you, but I'd rather let things play out naturally. I like a little bit of spontaneity in my life. When we over-analyze the charts of others, we prevent the magic of love from being what it is.