To Be Worthy

Two spiritual healers from France that I had the pleasure of first meeting at the Expo in Los Angeles came to Florida. I had the pleasure of watching them do their work, as they integrate the divine consciousness into the physical body of the person who they pray for, to help an individual actualize consciousness of their divine potential from their light within. They do the healing sessions in large groups, and then offer individual sessions. Because I am blessed with the gifts of seeing auras, I can not only feel the vibrational palpitation of the energy they are channeling through, I can perceive the energetic changes the individual is receiving from the healing. As each individual in the group session first stands in front of Jean Michel, he prays asking that their higher self receive exactly what is needed. At this moment, you see the activation of each chakra in the person’s body open up and align, allowing for a perfect energetic balance. Then the person proceeds to stand in front of Mary Ann, his wife, who calls in divine feminine energy, to heal the individual, creating the perfect harmony between the masculine and feminine energies of Mother and Father Divine. The first time I went up to have the prayers done, and receive both of the energies, my friend said that I literally lifted off my wheelchair. The vibrational experience from the calibration of the divine energy, is so high, I felt as though I had walked into an energy field that surrounded me in a warm blanket of love. I was lucky enough to receive a private session from these teachers. It begins by Jean Michel doing the prayers, allowing for your heart center to open up, to receive energy and healing for your highest good. Then, you are able to ask questions about anything you like. Before the question portion begins, Jean Michel has you draw a card to tell you which ascended master is a constant guide for you, indicating what a large portion of your divine purpose entails. I drew Paul the Venetian, a guide for creativity, indicating that much of my life purpose would be expressed through writing. Then, whatever question you want guidance about, it is rephrased to, “how does Spirit feel about __________?” Again, you draw three cards. If within those cards, there is something negative like a guilt card, Jean Michel uses his energetic antennae to clear out the vibration of that blockage around the issue you are asking about. He continues to do that until you have all positive cards about the subject, allowing him to know when enough healing has been done. Needless to say, this time with Jean Michel and Mary Ann was amazing and lasted about two hours, so that I could get a whole picture of things that concern me, and have whatever was needed to be cleared to reach the highest potential in that area. Jean Michel spoke in French while Mary Ann translates and takes notes on the session for you, all the while providing insight. After the personal session, I had the honor to attend another group session, and do a brief commentary about what was seen energetically as the work was being done. To help them in any capacity is a huge honor. Like anything that is worthwhile, the process of this integrative healing was not easy. I woke up the next morning, with hives, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, and feeling like I had a horrible flu times 10. I soon understood that this process was the detoxification of my physical body trying to integrate the divine vibration of the energy he channeled through, to heighten my awareness. With that being said, I would do it all again, because I have an inner peace, knowing, and understanding I did not have before.

The most healing experience was when I had the privilege of giving Jean Michel a reading. During this process, there was indeed profound information that came through. The hardest thing for me was when I felt my higher self retrieving information to give to him, but my intellectual mind could not process how it was that I, of all the individuals he has worked with on a spiritual journey, was chosen to give this information. This was the moment of true healing, because I was overcome with tears, releasing a lifetime of feeling less or less than, a product of a past in this lifetime, that repeatedly gave me messages confirming this feeling. Despite all the work that I had done, both in therapy spiritually, academically, and theoretically, nothing allowed me to see myself as worthy. G-d understands that I would never be given more than I could handle in my lifetime, and each experience gave me the compassion, insight and shaped me into the lightworker that I am today, however I could not progress on my spiritual journey as long as I still harbored, within some levels of consciousness, this feeling of unworthiness. Although I could not speak a word, as I heard the voice of spirit speak to me and say, “You are more than worthy to give the message, I selected you to do so.” Still continuing to cry, Jean Michel just squeezed my hand, with a great and divine knowing of the release that was taking place, even though I could not speak a word. With time, I was able to compose myself and get my mind out of the way, so my higher self could convey the message.

Fast forward to two days later. I returned home from a busy day of readings, and thought that I saw my kitty enter the kitchen. When I called her, she came to me from a completely opposite direction of the house. I quickly asked my guide if there was a kitty in spirit visiting my house. Then, my guide said, “No, that is your kitty. She is teaching herself how to spiritually travel through the house, so that she can navigate when it is time for her to cross.” Hearing this message, I had an incredible sense of peace, and surprisingly, gave it very little thought. This morning, I woke up full of happiness and was preparing to do my mantras and prayers. My kitty, who had not slept with me last night, quickly approached and I recognized that she had not slept with me for the past week or so, something very unlike her. As she approached me, I noticed her eyes looked dull, where they are usually full of a sparkle. I instinctively went to give her healing, and before I could place healing hands on her, I heard, very loudly, in my mind, “No, Mama, don’t, I am getting ready to go.” Even though hearing with such clarity was heartbreaking, I have a strength and peacefulness about it. Something I never had when even entertaining the idea of my beloved baby leaving, even though she is 14, and has lived a very purposeful, happy life with me. I say purposeful because she has served as my confidante, companion, and she is an amazing healer in her own right. In fact, when I was quite sick last year, with thyroid disease that had not been diagnosed, she would constantly come and lay with me, however, she would lay her paws over my neck area, and remain there constantly if I let her. She also would purr with such strength, she sounded like an actual motor. I knew that the vibration of a cat’s purr was very healing, so it was her way of giving me “Kitty medicine.” I also began to realize that for the last 48 hours, she had been purring constantly, even when I was not touching her, and I came to understand that cats sometimes purr when something’s wrong to regulate homeostasis in their body. In the beautiful design of the universe, I am leaving to go out of state in a few days very soon, and I know in her core, she is trying to hang on until I leave. When I think of her dedication, and the way that we are kindred spirits, to the point that I do not have to use my voice to call her, but mentally think in my mind, “Come Kitty, come,”and she comes. My intellectual mind tells me how was I ever worthy enough to be given the gift to be her owner. She is extraordinary, but at the same time, I recognize she chose me because I would be a Mama capable of connecting with her on a divine consciousness level, where she would be unconditionally loved and appreciated. Therefore, each and every component, moment, emotion, and detail of the journey has been divine in order and extraordinary, helping me understand that the issue is never to be worthy, but to walk in a universal worthiness, that we all are equal, and we have to walk in that equilibrium.