Vortex

Everything gets sucked in.

The Infinite Galaxy and All Its Glory

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel insignificant? That's basically my whole life. I wish that I could go to sleep and explore the vastness of space; but that's what we have movies and the entertainment industry for, exploring where most of us cannot venture.

Night time is my favorite time of day because we can see a portion of the galaxy. Humans are so busy squabbling over this and that when we do not realize that our time on this Earth is limited and short. Short as in, we have not been on the Earth a long time but we are draining so much of its resources beyond its stability. 

It's natural, it's human nature. I'm not blaming anyone or saying I'm above it all. I just find it funny. I often wonder how aliens are, if they have infrastructure; they must a hierarchy of sorts. I wonder if they use currency same as us or if they simply have a mutual understanding and everything is shared.

We cannot possibly be alone in this galaxy. I both long and fear for the day when we find out that we are not. We spend all this time trying to prove to the very world that we are the superior species, when in fact we are not. Superior species do not have as much conflict within their own, to the point of genocide or families being torn apart. Every species has their own different set of rules but for humans, it seems like "I can do this, but you can't because I said so" seems to be the standard rule, or "I can do it because of money."

If we spent as much energy trying to unify us as a whole, focusing on how to make us be able to help sustain the Earth more instead of focusing on each other as individuals, I think it would be a better world. I know that probably sounds backwards but I just mean in the sense of goals. We each have our own set of goals and dream jobs, accomplishments, wants, and needs. However, I think if we tied that with the overall carbon footprint of each person, if we were more aware of our actions on the Earth, that we could easily help build a sustainable environment. 

One problem, money. If you have enough money even if you do not know how to manufacture solar panels for your home yourself, you can still buy the panels or donate to Tesla or another company that is focusing on that, and feel like you're doing your humanly duty to help the Earth_even if it doesn't feel like that much. We focus so much on how we can gain an edge in life and get ahead because it's all about resources and despite all the other resources out there, money is the main one. 

Money is power in this world and when it comes to an end, it won't matter. All we can do is try and live every single one of our lives as best and as happily as we can. I believe there is one resource that's more powerful than money though: love. I know that's cheesy as shit and believe me, I'm gagging as I'm typing this. But without love, we are just void-less empty shells that consume and corrupt. You take the most evil person you know, give them mutual love, and watch them turn into a whole different person. I should know, I'm not the best human being. I've been hurt by love but I've experienced the hope of it and it really shows; I've had multiple people comment on the different states of me.

One-sided love is the most dangerous, though. That's the one that turns you into a shell and once you become a shell, you trust no one, you avoid, and you push every single person away because you secretly want them to push through every single last defense that you have when the reality of it is most people do not have that kind of time and energy that they are willing to spend on a person. So you just feel even more empty and you crave money to make that emptiness go away because you can spend your time on consumables and material things in order to fill that void, or perhaps go to a club and go home with a random stranger so you can fill the void in other ways.

That's the best way to fill the void. Watch as you are a complete shell of a person and you become intimate with another human. You suck every single ounce of them and pull them into you and if you've gotten good, you can put on the scariest mask—the mask of believable deception. You can make them believe anything you want to, you can make them believe that you will respond to their texts still, you will hang out with them again, you have genuine feelings for them, and you have absolutely no remorse for lying to them because you are a shell. Perhaps in the moment, you don't even realize you're lying because you've even convinced yourself that you're telling the truth.

When day comes and you leave, and you go back home and you realize that you never want to see them again—you don't know if it's because of intimacy, because you genuinely just wanted to use them, or because you are so hollow that you're not even sure if you can feel again without substance. After your encounter, they start to wonder what they did wrong and start to replay every single minute in their mind, reconstructing different scenarios trying to repair what they did when in fact, it was not their fault. 

After all, black holes don't feel bad when they suck stars into their dark and cold abyss. Truly, you know who your weaknesses are and that terrifies you even more because the only thing worse than being a hollow shell is having someone you love witness you being a hollow shell. It only makes you feel more like a monster.

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