What I Learned when I Joined a Flat Earth Society Group

People living in the 13th century held some decidedly incredible beliefs.

From believing that leeches cured every known medical condition to the terrifying practice of necromancy; or the downright bizarre four humors theory (blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm). Before maps, they also believed in a mythical continent called 'Lemuria'. They also believed that the Earth was flat.

Despite early Greek philosophy postulating that the Earth could, in fact, be round, early modern societies refused to accept that the Earth was a sphere. I wonder if religion was at the root of this belief—after all, didn't God state in the bible that the world was a firmament with the heavens above and hell below? Was believing and accepting science heresy?

Of course, most people nowadays accept and trust modern science and I'm sure we were all taught at school how ancient civilisations proved the existence of a curved Earth with stick shadows, long before Man's ability to photograph Earth from space.

So I was rather dismayed to learn, some time ago, that there are people, in this day and age, who still believe that the Earth is flat. Can you even imagine that? In the 21st century?

Being the, ahem, 'intrepid' writer that I am, I decided to investigate this dogma and joined a society to learn more.

Day One

I lurk for the whole day. There are lots of posts about various conspiracies—namely the 'conspiracy of the moon landings', lots of illustrations of a 'disk-like' flat Earth accompanied by outrage and the scoffing of scientific facts such as the Earth's orbital speed, gravity (which they either believe is a 'magical' force or just an outright lie) and lots of posts mocking NASA.

I scroll through some of the threads on the posts. Gosh, they are angry people! Legitimate, intelligent questions posed by whom I assume are non Flat Earthers are met with scorn, and at worst, downright fury.

I drink my cocoa and retire.

Day Two

I ask a question: 'How can you explain the testimonies of several, notable astrophysicists who have been to space and the moon; why do you dismiss hundreds of years of scientific proof that the Earth is a globe?'

They answer (furiously, calling me a stupid globetard) 'You believe what NASA tell you, they are hiding the truth from you. Trot on, you poor little globetard idiot.'

Me: 'Can you show me proof, ie. photographic evidence, obtained using the scientific method, that the Earth is flat?' Cue a spamming with various hilarious diagrams and theories, and not a single actual photo.

So I ask again, 'Please can I see your proof?'

'Go and find your own evidence, you dumb s**t,' they reply.

Any Flat Earth evidence I manage to locate are merely illustrations and diagrams. I want a photo. I spend the rest of the evening looking at beautiful photographic images of the solar system via my Professor Brian Cox book, The Wonders of the Universe.

Day Three

I make a 'friend'—well, someone who doesn't snarl at me agrees to answer some of my questions.

Me: 'Why would NASA want to cover up the truth? What would the government possibly gain from lying to us about the size and shape of the Earth?'

FE'er: 'It's control. They want to control us, make us like little hamsters turning the cog for them.'

Me - 'To what end? Is it money? Why are 'They' controlling us?'

FE'er: 'Please go and see for yourself.'

He pastes a video link. I excuse myself to watch it. The video is an audio recording of two young men speculating as to why NASA would distribute fake news. The argument is weak—merely repeating that the human race is being controlled but offering no reason why. I return to the group.

Me: 'Can you show me any evidence of a flat Earth?'

Various FE'ers: 'Can you prove the Earth is a sphere?'

I produce several photographs taken by respected scientific and astrological organisations.

Various FE'ers: 'No, that's CGI—NASA uses CGI to fool you. Go away you f******g stupid globetard.'

I'm losing my patience. I retire to watch the Perseid meteor shower using my new telescope.

Day Four

"Curve-Gate"

I post a few photos I took when flying towards America at 42,000 feet which show a slight curve of the ocean, and invite opinions.

The most rage-filled human being I've ever encountered wades in, citing the astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Him: 'You f*****g stupid, mercury-drinking globetard! Neil deGrasse Tyson, the respected astrophysicist, has stated that you can't see the curvature of the Earth until 128,000 feet. So, how can you have seen it at 42,000 feet, you stupid, piece of s**t!'

Me: 'What do you believe I saw then, if that's the case?'

Him: 'Fish-eye lens, obviously, you ignorant dips**t.'

Me: 'Did you know that Neil DeGrasse Tyson has made many presentations about the Earth being a globe? He's even been to the International Space Station and seen it for himself. How can you trust in one thing stated by a scientist but not uphold any of the others?'

Cue more abuse. It gets so bad that the moderator removes all the offensive comments from the group.

I returned to the group later in the day and found that everything I ever asked had been removed. An image of an ostrich with its head buried in the sand comes to mind.

Thinking more on the matter only raises further questions for me. How did our Medieval ancestors reach their acceptance of a global Earth? When did science and religion diverge enough to allow intelligent belief of both as separate teachings? When did we begin to trust science? And why are some radical groups reverting back to 13th century beliefs?

I recently read an article (1) stating that Flat Earthers rely on philosophy rather than science to flesh out their arguments. They refuse to accept the facts if they cannot see them with their own eyes. However, some do cite religion and biblical sources as the foundation of their doctrine. Other arguments for Flat Earth thinking appears to point to flawed or inadequate education, particularly in the fields of science and physics.

So how do you convince the Flat Earthers that what they believe in is wrong? Why bother? After a week of ignorance—constant, meaningless drivel, ardent sensationalism and some moderately nasty abuse—I've decided I will be leaving them, and their outdated, piteous beliefs, well alone.

I choose to believe in a momentously wonderful, fat, watery, blue marble, and all of science... in Sagan, Cox, and Einstein—Newton, Darwin, Copernicus, Galilei—and of course, the immortal words of the Monty Python team. (2)

My religious beliefs are not affected.

And in the enduring words of the Python team:

"Remember when you're feeling very small and insecure, how amazingly unlikely is your birth. And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cause there's bugger all down here on Earth."

References

1 - 'To argue with flat earthers, use philosophy not science' by Nikk Effingham. Available at https://qz.com/1264453/to-argue-with-flat-earthers-use-philosophy-not-science/ Accessed on 1/8/19.

2. 'The Galaxy Song' by Eric Idle and John DuPrez. Available at http://www.montypython.net/scripts/galaxy.php Accessed on 6/8/19.